it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's always time for handjobs
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
