I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize