For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
