yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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