So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
