that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry about my life...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
