around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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