He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
