Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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