You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
