Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
