I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
