What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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