Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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