We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize