And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
