He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
