if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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