you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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