So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
