WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
NoShamevember. You game?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
