I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
