I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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