I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
As shirtless as possible
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
