She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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