just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We need to get me chipped asap
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
