i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
