We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize