Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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