You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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