Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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