hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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