Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
