I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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