he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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