It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
