I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
