she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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