just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
