I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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