beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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