nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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