oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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