Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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