Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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