wanna go halves on a baby?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
