she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
