What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize