Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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