Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
