She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please come you make the beer taste better
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
