oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
