I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
