this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
