Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
