If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
