I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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