remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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