can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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