Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
