Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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