Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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