Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
