D3 body, D1 cock
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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