Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
