There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
