So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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