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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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